an unending stream of hurting and needy people who
desperately need counseling.
many potential Counselors, who if properly prepared,
could do a wonderful work for the Lord in helping
and counseling people.
God promises that in the end-time He will raise
up excellent Christian Counselors.
"And I will restore thy ... Counselors as at the beginning:"
introduction to Christian Counseling.
Christian Counseling there are four questions we
need to consider:
is Christian Counseling?
Counseling is a Counselor carefully, skillfully
and sensitively, listening to and understanding
a person's problems. Those counseled, can then be
given and experience solutions to their problems.
do we do Christian Counseling?
various kinds and depths of problems, therefore
their problems need to be skillfully diagnosed and
solved. They need the help and advice from trained
is qualified to do Christian Counseling?
who care for people in a Godly way should do Christian
Leaders, Pastors and Lay Christians who have been
trained may do Christian Counseling. One of the
most important requirements to counsel is personal
experience. Trained and happily married style='font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial'> Counselors are most effective
in marriage counseling style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial'>.
are the tools used in Christian Counseling?
six tools used in Christian Counseling:
personal experience of the Counselor.
help of trusted family or friends of the counseled
counseling does not always work, it is desperately
needed in our society today and is never a waste
of time. Jesus spent many hours talking to needy
people about their problems. The Apostle Paul encouraged
those who are strong, to help the burdened and the
are strong, ought to bear the infirmities of the
ye one another's burdens."
Counseling attempts to understand and help people
who have problems. It helps them to deal with losses,
disappointments, hurt, mounting pressures, tensions,
failures, inferiorities, depression and guilt. It
helps those counseled, to experience understanding,
relief, healing and restoration. It helps them to
experience a change of perceptions, values, attitudes
Counseling should be consistent with Biblical Teaching
in dealing with problems. Its ultimate goal is for
the Counselee to develop spiritual values, have
a true spiritual experience with God and have the
of Christian Counseling.
three things Counselors need to consider when counseling:
Counseling they need to do seven things:
1.Gain the attention of the Counselee.
2.Carefully listen to what the Counselee says.
3.Observe the Counselees behavior and body language.
4.Lead the conversation in the right direction.
5.Lovingly and gently confront the Counselee's problems.
6.Share needed information with the Counselee.
7.Support and encourage the Counselee toward success.
These seven aspects have four things in common:
1. They give the Counselee hope.
2. They correct ignorance and educate the Counselee.
3. They bring about a definite positive change.
4. Counselees experience self worth and success.
are eight steps in Counseling and they are:
1. Establishing a friendly relationship between
the Counselor and Counselee.
2. Building rapport by sharing thoughts, feelings
and showing empathy.
3. Exploring the details of problem situations,
bad experiences and diagnosing the problem.
action and setting goals to solve problems.
progressive steps to achieve the goals.
6. Bringing the Counselee into Gods Presence.
7. Ensuring the continuation of the Counselees success.
8. Successfully completing the Christian Counseling.
five important aspects of a Counseling Session:
1. It needs
to have a definite date and time, giving the Counselor
sufficient time to prepare.
2. The venue
needs to be easily accessible for the Counselee,
including the disabled.
3. The seating
needs to be comfortable.
4. It needs
to render complete privacy.
5. The duration
of each session should be for a period of time that
is acceptable and convenient for all parties concerned.
eight things Counselors need to consider about themselves:
Do we counsel
because we have a real desire to help people in
need, or is it because we have some ulterior motive.
who have the right motive in counseling, enjoy it,
find it fulfilling and are successful.
2. The Counselors role.
To be effective,
Counselors must have a clear understanding of their
responsibilities, the role they play and always
is not just a friendly visit.
It is not
to find fault with or condemn the Counselee.
It is not
an experience that should be done hastily.
It is not
a dominating or controlling experience for both
the parties should become impatient.
often open themselves to power struggles and personality
clashes with Counselees. They can become vulnerable
to exploitation and failure. Counselors should never
be misused or manipulated by the Counselees they
Counselors personal intimate feelings.
are normal people and should guard against having
their personal feelings being affected in the counseling
session. During marriage counseling when discussing
intimate marriage details, Counselors have to guard
against being emotionally and sexually affected.
In Pastoral Counseling, it is advisable for the
Counselors Spouse or another Christian to be present
during Marriage Counseling.
The Counselors Ethics.
The Bible is the ultimate standard by which
all ethical decisions are tested.
Christian Counselors in behaving ethically in counseling,
here is a seven-fold code to consider:
should always seek what's best for the Counselee.
Counselors should keep all information of the Counselee
and the counseling session confidential.
3. Only with
the permission of the Counselee, should any information
be shared with anyone.
4. Counselors should refrain from giving advice
for which they have not been trained. (Like legal
or medical advice.)
They should always seek to honor God in counseling
and refer a Counselee to someone else, if they feel
they are not being successful. This must be done
in co-operation with the Counselee.
soon discover that counseling is hard work. Dealing with
problems and hurts of others, can have a draining
effect on them. They may experience feelings of
fatigue, futility, frustration or irritability.
This can cause the Counselor to be ineffective and
feel a loss of purpose. This condition is called
avoid this, Counselors must be strengthened in Prayerand
the Word of God daily. They must understand
that after doing their best, they need to give the
situation over to God. Counselors need to take time
off to relax, be refreshed, improving their abilities
and skills to Counsel.
7. The Counselors effectiveness.
acquires the knowledge and experience, to counsel
with people. Mastering the art of counseling does
not come overnight. It comes by hard work, dedication
and perseverance. What is learned needs to be applied.
9. The Counselors Sources of reference.
are not an island unto themselves. We always need
the help, advice and support of others. In different
areas and categories, we build up different sources
of help and reference. The greater our sources of
help and reference are, the more effective our counseling
some categories of reference:
Jesus Christ is our "Wonderful Counselor"
is our Teacher and Guide.
Dealing with specific
nine kinds of problems that Counselors deal with:
at least five of them, namely:
are several reasons why people feel guilt.
guilty about things they have done in the past.
causes them to feel guilt.
causes people to experience negative things.
causes moral pain and remorse for wrong things done.
It is often accompanied by shame, depression, anger
and self- condemnation. People feeling guilty often
apologize profusely for what they have done, or
angrily blame others.
are effective ways of dealing with guilt.
need to convince those with feelings of guilt, that
forgives what they have done wrong.
this forgiveness, those who are guilty need to be
honest and admit that they have done wrong. They
need to ask God and those who they have wronged
wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man
his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD,
and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God,
for he will abundantly pardon."
way to prevent guilt from recurring is to prevent
a person continuing to do wrong. If they cease from
doing wrong they will experience forgiveness and
learn to appreciate new moral values.
three causes of anxiety namely:
threatened when there life is in danger. They also
feel threatened when their ability or character
is questioned and their self-image or self-esteem
is at stake.
inner conflict, when the decisions they make cause
them pain, displeasure or inconvenience.
fear, when what they need for life or existence
be needs of:
causes three reactions in people namely:
produce headaches, skin rashes, ulcers and a variety
of physical problems. Persistent anxiety can cause
the body to break under pressure over a period of
try to cope or escape from anxiety by their addiction
to food, alcohol and drugs.
motivate people to seek Divine help and drive them
those with anxiety.
should in a calm, caring, reassuring way, introduce
them to Jesus Christ. He will love, help them and
change their situation.
are causing the anxiety, Jesus will change the circumstances.
or lifestyle is causing the anxiety, it can
also be changed.
If time is
needed to effect this change, the Counselee will
enjoy the help and support of the Counselor and
a word for those with anxiety.
for nothing." (Don't worry about anything)
is an inner emptiness and a feeling of isolation
from people. Lonely people have an intense desire
for a relationship with those around them. They
need to be wanted, understood and esteemed by people.
is caused by the tendency of people in society to
withdraw themselves from others. Suspicion and fear
of strangers often causes people to avoid contact
with others. The inability to communicate with people
can cause isolation and loneliness.
is often the cause of low self-esteem, depression
need to do six things:
must admit they have a problem.
must identify the cause of their loneliness.
must be helped to develop self-esteem.
must reach out and communicate with others.
must learn how to listen and talk to other people.
must experience Gods presence and dispel loneliness.
said, I will never leave you or forsake you."
always with you, even unto the end of the world."
can be experienced for shorter or longer periods
of time. It can be moderate or severe. It causes
people to feel miserable, inefficient and self-critical.
to affect the immune system of the body causing
several things that cause depression namely:
side effects of addiction.
people need to do eight things, namely:
that all people experience discouragement.
what is causing their feeling of depression.
circumstances that cause the depression.
to talk depressive talk.
support and be helped by other therapeutic people.
oneself with happy and positive people.
care of their health.
spoke to himself and said -
thou cast down O my soul? Hope thou in God."
have anger often try to keep it under control and
suppress it for as long as they can. It often surfaces
in verbal reactions, cursing, negative physical
acts and violence. People try to hide it behind
closed doors. Anger often erupts in an outburst
just like an erupting volcano. It is a baffling
and most unpredictable emotion.
type of anger that may be permissible is controlled
six things that cause anger, namely:
frustrated with someone or something.
a temper tantrum.
with anger, seven things are important, namely:
the source of the unacceptable anger.
admit and confess the anger.
for forgiveness for the expression of anger.
steps to control the anger.
follow these steps when getting angry.
angry people and situations.
love to overcome all anger.
and sin not."
of the Spirit is love."
when experiencing different phases of life.
We will deal
with five phases of life.
inevitably experience problems when growing up.
These are problems of learning disorders, rebellion,
violence, speech problems, mental disorders, hyperactivity,
physical and social problems. These have been studied
and analyzed by Psychologists and Scientists.
the result of seven causes, namely:
1. Neglect or child abuse.
2. Instability in the home.
3. Unsatisfied needs of the child.
5. Mental retardation of the child.
6. Attention deficit disorder of the child.
7. Traumatic experiences such as accidents.